Today i just decided not to go out because i thought it will rain, i just decided to continue washing the clothes. My brother txt me earlier today to say that my nephew won the rap last nights contest. His talented and smart..too bad he didnt went to college again this year. I really wanted to help him but i can't afford for now, dana only works and me it's like once a week. He might think also its always my family. I just went to help them since my brother died. I feel like what happen to my father before happen to my eldest brother. I still feel sad until now,we haven't really talk after we had some argument. It's like deep inside my heart i will carry this pain. Even his kids now they seem different now.

I call target to ask if i can have vacation for a month this november , our human resource said that i need to file a leave of absence and they will just see and approv. So i was searching for airline ticket and i found hawaiin airline for 2400 plus for 3 person,i tempted to buy but i'm just worried i'm gonna use again credit cards and we cant pay off yet this month. I  really missed my family. I need also to process something there for the house that we bought.

This past months i experienced a lot of headaches. It might be because of my birht control pills. I sometimes feel depressed and irritated so much. I wanted to stop taking this pills but i am afraid to get pregnant. It is not yet plan to have another baby. Im gonna wait til i petition mom. I still have a lot to do like i might go to school and take some courses. I'm tired of not having some savings..i want to go to work full time again.